“No. I am working on myself. I am going to the gym, I am doing a lot of self-reflection. Sometimes I am doing yoga, I get massages. You know! I am working.” That’s Orhan Awatramani, or Orry for you.

If Orry didn’t exist, we would have had to invent him.

The BFF of Bollywood bachchalog stars, Orry dropped out of nowhere and established himself as the must-have accoutrement for every Bollywood handbag, sorry, minor star, sometime earlier this year.

Orry reminds me of a sort of reverse Great Gatsby, the great host popularised by Scott Fitzgerald, who threw massive parties where he was a stranger — a bit like Orry’s proclivity for being the life of the party where he’s famous, but nobody really knows him.

It’s not important who Orry is or isn’t. He seems to be some rich kid from Chandigarh who burned daddy’s cash to go abroad a few times, met some Bollywood kids, leeched onto them back in India, and scored big time when an Ambani kid hired him to go to parties. Maybe I’m completely wrong. Doesn’t matter, as I said.

If you remember the noughties, you remember Paris Hilton, who cultivated a public image as a glamorous and wealthy socialite. Her appearances at high-profile events, fashion shows, and parties — thanks to her family’s status — helped.

Soon, Hilton — ‘famous for being famous’ — strategically aligned herself with various brands and products. She became a spokesperson for numerous fashion and lifestyle brands, including fragrances, clothing lines and accessories.

She was one of the earliest celebs to venture into and maintain a strong presence on platforms like Instagram and Twitter. She shared glimpses of her luxurious lifestyle, engaged with fans and continued to promote her various ventures, ensuring that she stayed relevant in the digital age.

So how do you do an Orry or Paris Hilton?

Step 1: Find Your ‘Je Ne Sais Quoi’

That’s French for ‘I don’t know what’, which is probably what people will say when they try to figure out why they’re following you. Maybe it’s your ability to make a latte look like a work of art, or your uncanny resemblance to a young Nicolas Cage. Whatever it is, it’s your ticket to the big leagues.

Step 2: Schmooze or Lose

Next, you need to network. And by network, I mean shamelessly insert yourself into the lives of the rich and famous. Get invited to their parties, photobomb their selfies, and if all else fails, hide in their bushes. Remember, in the world of social media, it’s not about who you know, it’s about who knows you.

Step 3: Conquer Social Media

Finally, you need to conquer social media. Post photos of your breakfast, your dog, your neighbour’s dog, basically anything that can get you likes. Respond to every comment, even the ones that say ‘who dis?’. And remember, there’s no such thing as oversharing on social media. So go ahead, post that video of you singing in the shower. The world is your stage!

Good luck!

(Shubho Sengupta is a digital marketer with an analogue ad agency past. He can be found @shubhos on X)